Deep Breaths

Okay .. sorry I've been ABSENT for so long. I have had a shitty Month and thank GOD its February as I fucking HATE January!!!!!!!!!!! I mean HATE HATE HATE it. Something always bad happens and this year is NO different. I swear in 2007 I'm breaking the curse and my next January will be the best EVER. I'm just thankful that January 2006 is OVER and I can now enjoy the rest of the year. It will all be downhill and happy news from here on out!!!!!

My Mom had a stroke on January 11th. Well I shouldnt actually give a date because we are not exactly sure WHEN she had the stroke. the 11th is the date that I found her .... that was a Wednesday. The last time anyone talked to her was on Sunday and it was my Son. So .. best guess is that she had the stroke on Sunday evening and she was there all alone in bed for 3 FUCKING Days after she had the stroke. I'm crying just typing this .. but I'm hoping it is somewhat theraputic to type it. I had called her on Monday, left a message, Tuesday, left a message and then Wednesday when I called and still didn't get ahold of her and she hadn't returned any of MY other phone calls I freaked. My brother was on his way to Hawaii so I couldn't ask him if he had spoken to her and she and my sister were still fighting. I called my husband and asked if he would go over there with me. We waited for BigB to get home from school and off we went. We got through the garage and both her cars were there ... but the siding glass door in the back was locked .. all doors were locked. I rang the door bell .. knocked, through rocks at her bedroom window and was yelling for her. I was on the phone with my sister all this time and she is freaking out telling me just to break a window and my husband was telling me that he WOULD get into the house .. He ended up drilling out the lock on the siding glass door. When I entered the house .. the smell almost knocked me to my knees. I had never smelled death before but I've heard it is bad. I looked at Hijo and was FREAKING when I hear my Mom yelling .. "HEY ..I"M UP HERE!" I ran upstairs and she was in bed and she had been in bed for days in puke, pee and poop. Thus the smell. She was coherent and was adament that she didn't want me to call 911. I didn't listen. I just called and told them to get the hell over there. I was hysterical. She wanted me to throw her in the shower .. but I was so afraid to touch her. I had NO idea what had happened to her and didn't want to make things worse. It seemed like the firetruck took FOREVER to get there. I was screaming, yelling, crying and telling my Mom how much I loved her. I was a mess! about 5 minutes after the firetruck arrived came the ambulance. All this time Hijo is keeping the kiddos out back so they wouldn't see what is going on. They took my Mom out in a sheet ... at that time I bet she weighed maybe ... 90 lbs .. she is soo tiny! And she was so dehydrated.

They took her to a local hospital and she stayed there for 3 days .. then she went to a rehab facility. She is progressing like the Champ that she is. She is sooo strong. Her left side WAS paralyzed and now .. she can walk (with help) and today she answered my phone call with her left hand! I'm amazed! They expect to release her in a couple of weeks .. we still aren't sure where to yet. Then she'll do day therapy M-F 9-3 and they will transport her. Nice.

She has minimal brain damage but they are going to put her on ritilan for her attention issue. They will keep her on it for a few months and then wean her out. I've been teasing her the she has ADD.

well I'm off to bed .. but that is where I have been. There are more parts I wish to share but not right now. This post was mentally exhausting. But I have to tell you that I have much more ... My sister has her own post, my brother has his own post ... and during all of this mess BabyJ had RSV ... that sucked ass too ...

so THANK YOU FEBRUARY! You are a wonderful loving Month