Self ............ Breath

take time to breath. I have to keep telling myself this. "Self, breath". It seems like I have not any spare time in my days. Chores, work, kids, husband .. you know the drill.

couple things on my mind.

the story .. backtrack to August 2005

My husband's brother's wife and I were pretty close. We got along great. She developed feelings for another friend Man(boy) and gave me the lowdown after her daughter her caught Man(boy) feeling her up & down. Nothing "else" physical happened that I know of. I don't want to know. One night camping, my niece (her daughter) came to me crying that she saw the Man(boy) touching her Mom inappropriately. She was so upset. I went and got my Hijo to hear the story. I was blown away. Hijo promised his niece that he would take care of it. We waited a bit but then he told his Brother about everything. Shit hit the fan .. SIL was mad at me .. (understandable, I did break her trust, however my husband comes first before anyone) She put me in a tough tough position. I knew if I told my hijo that he would tell his brother, yet how am I supposed to keep a secret from hijo? I can't, won't .. EVER! So I told, he told... BIL was obviously upset. Okay I've been ignored for the past few months. Not invited to the "gang's" functions, pretty much just left the fuck out (not even a tad bitter) So fast forward to Thanksgiving. Some of the "gang" went to a friends about 4 hours away. We stayed home. SIL, BIL and friends all went. Guess who else went .. said MAN (boy) Are you fucking kidding me. THey all went like nothing ever happened??? Okay .... BIL stick your head in the sand its your choice but Come the fuck on. What about your daughter ,, don't you think its a TAD wierd for her. Don't you think she thinks its very strange that he is there as their friend and all is okay now???? Okay I'm 35 and I don't understand. how is a 12 year old supposed to think that this is okay?

So this past Saturday night one of the "gang" had friends over for a couple of bdays. Me and hijo were not invited and actually didn't find out about it till yesterday. One of the friends of the group called to check up on me (LOVE HER) We chatted and she told me that said "Man(boy)" was there too? So I'm ousted because I tell about the emotional infedelity .. but the actual cheaters are okay to be around eachother.... WHAT THE FUCK????????????? I'm confused

so I tell myself, Self ... Breath!!!!!

Okay thought number 2 .... Breath .. deep, large, long deep breaths!!

so I tell myself, Self ... Breath!!!!!

On a positive note. I have the boys this weekend and I'm going to spoil them like crazy with time, love and attention!!!! I'm even thinking that next wknd I'll just keep them with me.Another positive ..
.I get to work from home for the next 2 days and I'm v. excited about it. I just tested connectivity for work and all is a go!!! DANCIN! I think after "work" I'll take the kids to see santa! hopefully I get to the mall and there isn't a line or anything .. cross fingers. If so .. I'll post a picture.

I'm Out
*smooch*