October 26, 2009

I'm BAAACK.

I need the journal .. I need the time. I need the outlet!

So whats been going on!? The kids are incredible. BigB is crazy smart and tall and funny and frustrating. He is messy with his room and his things - clean with his body and hair .. My God the kid would shower 20x per day if I let him.

LittleB is a sportser .. still in soccer and has just decided to play basketball this winter. Remind me to sign him up! He is brilliant and doing fantastic in school. Has a cell phone and texts like a mad man. Loves it.

BabyJ is four and precious and a princess and well behaved and spoiled and smart and just a good good girl. and a girly girl - but can run and jump and throw with the boys.

and Jax .. my little buttercup .. mushy squishy lovey ... make out boy. I will add new pictures.

Hijo and me - well we are hanging in there - day to day , week to week, month to month. Marraige is hard and two type A personalities .. makes it harder.

My Ex .. married and she is a piece of work ... I will be venting about her on this blog I"m feeling it. She sent me a video yesterday about prayer and such. hmmmm how do you take that. She is such a bully and wants to control my life and I find it quite bizarre as I am a controlling type of personality - but my husbands ex - not so much into controlling her life? especially when she is doing a fine job ya know? not thinking that I care all that much about her life either? wonder why she is so interested in mine?

we shall see I have a feeling?

The kiddos

I've come to realize

1. I’ve come to realize that my legs are…
getting into rockin shape

2. I’ve come to realize that my job…
is sometimes really fun and exciting

3. I’ve come to realize that I need…
to eat 1000 calories per day if I want to lose the rest of the baby weight

4. I’ve come to realize that I have lost…
my trust and faith in people (why do I keep learning this lesson over and over)

5. I’ve come to realize that I hate…
most of the general public

6. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk…
I'll probably puke!

7. I’ve come to realize that money…
\causes anxiety

8. I’ve come to realize that people…
are ignorant

9. I’ve come to realize that I’ll always be…
looking for acceptance

10. I’ve come to realize that I have a crush…
on my husband

11. I’ve come to realize that my mom..
is becoming more and more childlike :(

12. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone is..
addicting - especailly when I forgot it yesterday at soccer practice and I felt naked

13. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning…
I wanted to stay home and snuggle with the baby

14. I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep…
I am still in love with my husband

15. I’ve come to realize I’m thinking about..
our stupid fuking tennant whom I'd like to punch in the face repeatedly

16. I’ve come to realize that my dad…
is proud of me!

17. I’ve come to realize that I get on MySpace…
to check in on my friends

18. I’ve come to realize that today…
I will be happy!

19. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow…
is another day to be happy

20. I’ve come to realize that I really want to…
be the boss of everyone

21. I’ve come to realize that my ex…
has some serious problems

22. I’ve come to realize that I…
Have terrific kids

23. I’ve come to realize that right now…
I'm proud of me and mine!

4 is perfect!

Could they be any cuter? Look how dark LittleB is. HA .. he tans so well! Great skin!

OMG has life been busy! I have been working out 5-6 times per week.. HardCore. It is the only thing keeping me sane right now with the baby waking up every.2.hours! But I'm not losing weight. I've been working out since June and lost aobut 5 lbs that month and then in Mid July - SIX WEEKS AGO .. I have been doing some serious body toning, cardio, resistence weights ... and running .. or should I say jogging. And I haven't dropped a fucking pound. WTF? My diet is very good .. I"d say about 1500 calories per day. and I'm guessing on an average day my work out is 700 calories burned ... so am I not taking enough calories in? Am I just building muscle and then the weight will melt off in another few weeks .. its been 6 weeks. I'm at a loss!!!!!!!!!!

I need a drink.

So my life consists of taking care of the kids - going to work - working out- coming home - washing bottles, doing laundry, cleaning the house, changing daipers, wiping the little girls but, giving bath/showers, cooking dinner, cleaning up after dinner, sweeping, and tonight I gave both dogs (85 lbs golden and 15 lbs boshit) a bath - cleaning the laundry room as said dogs stunk and somehow managed to skink up the landry room. I'm burning candles at both ends. Thank God I have energy from working out or I'd be a meaner bitch (I'm already a bitch)

I cut off all contact with my snotty SIL - it felt good and sad at the same time. I miss my nieces! I miss my BIL. I miss the family dynamic. but its been a long time since we have had that dynamic soo sad.

My Mom is still having issues and is now going to transfer all of her money to us kids and put her house in all 3 of our names. So so heartwrenching. I don't want her money. I want her to stick around. but this is her way of slowly letting go and doing the financial thing right - before she off's herself. She is done ... I know it. She is just cleaning up so we don't have a mess and getting all the ducks in a row so its easier for us afterwards - at least that part. Its just a matter of time.

My Dad .. he is doing fairly well .. better mentally lately. He might come for a visit for 3 weeks . .unheard of for him. HE is such a wonerful grandfather :) makes me smile. He sucked as a Dad ... I'd rather he be good to my kids now in retrospect! So Awesome!

Going to lunch with my girls tomorrow .. so excited to see them. It sucks we never get together. Life just gets in the way. We are all on oppostie sides of town. A big friggen triangle. Getting together takes time to plan and patience. But its Em's bday. And I owe her a movie soon too .. she took me to my very favorite move eveh .. SATC. We need to go watch it again for hers.

alright hijo is laughing at me because I asked to watch a movie and he put Charlie Wilson's war in and here I am on the computer

*smooch*

We ..are .. alive .. and .. kicking

Hola !!! Welcome back?!? Long time no see!!!

Ketchup ...

MiniJ was born 3/10/08. He looks just like Hijo!!!!! 7 lbs 11 oz 19 3/4" long. Perfect! Awesome! Love Him!!!!

So the labor went well. I will post the labor story!!! Delivery ... was good ... painful. MiniJ .. well he is just perfect.

Older siblings ... love him! No jealousy ..STILL. They are fantastic and just as in love as we are.

School starts in 1 wk 2 days. I will have a 5th grader and a second grader. They, of course are sooo not ready to go back. Its early this year. We have a couple of camping trips planned.

Lets see .. I've been working out .. like crazy with an awesome personal trainer. (its free .. thats the best part) I still have a few lbs to lose .. less then 20 HA! I've just quit breast feeding. Was planning on doing it for 1 month .. then 6 wks .. well I made it 4 months - 3 weeks. Damn proud of myself. I do think however that the last few lbs have been holding on because of that. The verdict is still out since its only been a few days and my boobs STILL hurt. But between my diet and hardcore exercise routine - I'm hoping its that and not my age .. HA .. I turned 38 last month! Yikes.

Okay .. .March - had baby. severe anxiety over baby getting sick. Older kids were sicker this spring then fall/winter combined. Thankfully ... MiniJ was safe! One of the reasons I was breastfeeding for so long. Hijo went to moab for 5 days when MiniJ was 9 days old. Huge anxiety for me .. Post partum and all ... and doing it all alone with 5 kids. Mother *(FDKE(ER!!! actually it was my idea but still ...

April - tubes tied .. yippy. Went very well and not much pain. I have yet to have a period so I'll let you know how that goes .. Promise.

May ... Best friend's wedding. Fabulous - awesome - beautiful - romantic. So so great!

June - back to work ... MiniJ refuses bottle for the most part. STRESS .. GUILT. Hijo at home with 4 kids .. oh the last day of May was the last day of school .. HAHA. Hijo finds a routine and all is good. MiniJ takes bottle during the day and breast at night.

July - turn 38 .. routine for work is going well. Walking daily at work for 35 minutes. Lose a fewl more lbs. 20 year reunion time .. ugh! Start hard core work out routine. Been doing it for 3 1/2 weeks. Losing weight quickly .. but not quick enough for me. Start running at home on days off .. YES you heard me hahahahaha. goal set - run 3 miles without trouble. I'm not there yet. I did go at 6 am on friday. Boobs hurt way too bad to run .. walk fast and jog some but not much. Went about 2 1/2 miles. Very proud. The rest of the weekend.... nurse my poor breasts.

Start back up working out tomorrow.

Smiles - hugs!. pictures to come.

My family is complete!!! WOOT! YAY!!!

Happy Love

Happy Valentines DAy

Long time no post?

the update ... I would love to be able to post more often. I love reading other blogs and catching up with other people's lives. I am just not a "writer" by heart. It is theraputic .. but time consuming and with 4 kids and one on the way I just get "stuck" mentally and at the end of the day can barely even think anymore. So .. I'll be on maternity leave soon .. i should have more time :)

The update

** I have 26 days till the scheduled induction date. Its a boy and he is big so we'll have him at 38 weeks! I'm so excited.

** did I mention I'm almost done being pregnant F.O.R.E.V.E.R.

** I got a huge promotion at work ... patting self on back!!!!

** I get 12 weeks off to spend with my family and this new big guy!

** BabyJ is great and enjoying preshcool. She is a pistol however and I have now first hand experience of the tap dancing/jumping/throw yourself on the floor screaming terrible 2 tantrum. Its really pretty!!!!

**Big B played tackle football this year and kicked butt. He is planning on playing baseball this spring and summer. He is doing fairly well in school .. I'd say B+ ...average .. but he is so much smarter then this that sometimes its hard to accept

**LittleB .. my social butterfly who cbannot.shut.up.in.class ... therefore has had 12 bad weeks out of 22 this school year. Its not that he is mean, defiant steals or anything horrible. He is just the class clown and the class lover and talker and wants to be everyone's friend. So hard to discipline this little dude ..

Well I will try and post at least weekly okay? Back to it.

Off to Texas Road House for a romantic dinner for 3 .. the boys are with their dad and babyJ will be going with us .. oh and will have to come up with a name for baby#4?? hmmmm

Happy Valentines Day!

Random Pictures = Proud Mommy

Notice BabyJ's pink Mit ... ready to play softball!!!

BabyJ was trying to tackle BigB .. see how it worked out for her?

BigB's Field Day .. of course he took the GOLD ...

Memorial Day Mohawk

Been a very lazy weekend at Casa MommyC. Movies, heely's, music and mohawks. Friday Hijo went to a buddy's to help him put air bags on his new van. So the kids each had a McD's gift card so we went there for dinner. Good thing they spent their own money because they didn't eat very well. I borrowed $1 from one of their cards for a side salad and then stole a nugget and cut it up over the salad YUM! Saturday we got up late .. I made a big breakfast then Hijo went off to a round of golf. I took the kids to a friends house to get their hair cuts. LittleB decided he wanted a mohawk and it looks incredibly awesome!!!! Came home to hang out and have drinks with a friend waiting for the guys to come home from golf, grilled some kabobs and just relaxed. Yesterday we gave BigB his heely's a few days early so that he could learn how to use them while we were home with no big plans. He argued for awhile till I made him sit down and read the online instructions. Then it clicked. LittleB got out his (he got a pair for his bday too) and cried while trying to figure it out. ugh!

Boring post however the weekend has been relaxing .. no driving. The house is clean, the laundry is done. Back to work tomorrow! I'd rather have boring then tragedy!

Can You Cook?

1. Can you cook? Yes. I’m trying. I didn’t cook in my
previous marriage so I’m doing okay so far I think!!
2. Childhood dream? To be married to the love of my life, to be a social worker to help children, and of course to be happy. I have always wanted a ton of kids .. of course as I got older I knew better but alas a ton of kids for me is meant to be!!3. What talent do you wish you had? If it were actually possible to wish and get a talent, I wish I could program (as in computers).4. Favorite place? Outside in the sunshine with my family.
5. Favorite vegetable? Most of them .. I’m a veggie girl6. What was the last book you read? The House...7. What zodiac sign are you? Cancer
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Yes .. 4 & Belly & ears9. Worst habit? Procrastination10. What is your favorite sport? To watch on TV – Football .. to watch in person – basketball … to play – volleyball and of course any sport one of my kids is playing ~ they are so athletic11. Negative or Optimistic attitude? Both .. however my hubby says I’m a half empty kinda girl!
12. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator? I'd hope I had my crackberry to play with. I get very bored easily.

13. Worst thing to ever happen to you? This is a tough one. I've been in terrible situations, and have lost wonderful people in my life. It's hard to quantify something as "the worst." No loss is good. I filled this out before I lost my baby and that is the WORST Thing that has happened to me L14. Tell me one weird fact about you: I think the day to day life is sooo hard but overall its so wonderful

15. Do you have any pets? I have a pain in the ass golden retriever! He is 3 ½ but still acts like a pup. Very frustrating. I wish he mellow out just a tad!
16. Do you know how to do the macerana? Yea *blush* I do 17. What time is it where you are now? 10:210 amw18. Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Yup.19. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be??? Probably my belly … after I have baby # 4 I’m sure its gonna be even more “saggy
20. What color eyes do you have? Blue21. Ever been arrested? Yes! When I was 20 and was using my sisters id to get into a bar!22. What is your favorite drink? diet pepsi.23. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it? Pay off some bills.24. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew? Trident.25. What 's your favorite place to hang? At home with the family
26. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes definitely
27. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? I love to read! But spare time .. are you kidding me?
28. Do you swear a lot? Way too much for having small children
29. Biggest pet peeve? To be lied to L

30. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Tired